


Blue

by Amorette



Category: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 17:29:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5300312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amorette/pseuds/Amorette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do Hercules and Iolaus do?  They fight monsters.  But this one is a little different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue

Blue

by Amorette

"Monster!"

The fisherman ran past Hercules and Iolaus as they were walking down the road to the beach, discussing a play they had seen the night before. Iolaus had just said, "I thought the leading actor was all right, when he remembered his lines but. . ."

"Monster!"

Iolaus stopped in mid sentence and mid step. He and Hercules exchanged shrugs. The fisherman pointed back towards the beach.

"Monster."

"Um," said Hercules mildly, "a few more details might be nice."

"You know," added Iolaus, "Size. Number of heads. Does it spit fire? That sort of thing."

The fisherman stopped. "Huge. Tentacles. Blue. Monster." He thought it over. "Monster!"

"Right." Hercules sighed. "No problem. Come on, Iolaus. I think there is a monster on the beach."

"Do you suppose it's us?" Iolaus asked as he bounced down the steep path to the sand below. "Do we attract monsters? I mean, if we hadn't been walking this way, do you suppose the monster might not have shown up?"

"Maybe they can smell us coming."

"Hey! I took a bath two nights ago, same as you. Even used that sandalwood soap. Nice stuff that."

Before Hercules could discuss his preferences in toiletries, Iolaus extended an arm to stop their downward descent, raising his other hand so he could press a finger to his lips. Both men paused, listening.

"Is that someone crying?" whispered Iolaus, turning his head a little to see if he could catch the echo of the sound off the cliffs.

Hercules nodded. "A woman."

"Right."

They both started trotting towards the source of the sound, slowing to a walk as the monster came into view.

It was blue, it did have tentacles, but it wasn't huge. Not in comparison to some monsters they had encountered over the years. Not by a long shot. The monster was little more than man-height in size. It was covered in scales that were dark blue at one end of the monster, lightening gradually to a pale, sky blue at the other. The dark colored end had tentacles, a dozen or so, long and slender, each one ending in a feather like fan. The pale end ended in a rounded tip, like squid, but unlike a squid, it appeared to have a face near the top, with two large dark eyes, two slits that appeared to function as a nose, and a thin, lipless mouth.

The sound of a woman crying wasn't coming from some poor captive of the monster but from the monster itself.

As Hercules and Iolaus slowly approached, the monster turned and looked at them, which brought on a fresh flood of tears.

"Hello," said Iolaus, not having any idea what do except greet the poor creature. Monster or not, it was obviously in distress and he helped things in distress, even if they had tentacles and scales.

The monster sniffled and raised one tentacle, waving the fanlike end.

"Ah, I'm Iolaus and this is Hercules."

The monster sniffled again.

Hercules smiled politely. "Is there something we could do to help?"

The monster's tentacles writhed, very much in the way a distraught person might wring his hands. The huge head shook slowly, the tip flopping back and forth. 

"No," said the monster in a distinctly feminine voice. "I doubt it." Her mouth trembled and turned down. Two tears rolled out of the corner of her eyes. "No one can help me. That's why I've decided to beach myself and suffocate."

Hercules and Iolaus exchanged glances. With a slight tip of his head, Hercules indicated that Iolaus should take the lead, since he was usually better with women.

"Doesn't seem to be working, does it?" 

Hercules' forefinger found Iolaus' ribs but the smaller man ignored it. He knew what he was doing. 

"No." The monster sighed. "I thought my own weight would crush me without the buoyancy of the water. I didn't think I could breath this long out of the water, either, but I seem to have been wrong in both cases."

"But why would you want to end your life?" Iolaus pulled over a handy log and sat down. "Especially on such a beautiful day?" He gestured towards the blue sky, a few wisps of cloud adding depth and texture.

The monster blinked. "Why would you care?"

"I'm a nice person." Iolaus smiled, one his best, bright smiles. The cheeks, if the areas below her eyes could be considered cheeks, of the monster flushed darker blue. "I care about other people."

"I'm not a person." The monster let out a pitiful sob. "I'm a monster."

"No, you're not."

Hercules had settled himself down next to Iolaus, trying to look pleasant and unthreatening. He'd found, over the years, that if he sat down and looked pleasant, he was much less likely to be attacked. He decided to add his comments to the conversation.

"You're not a monster," said Hercules. "I've seen monsters. You haven't got fangs, for one thing."

Iolaus added helpfully, "And you're not hideous. Monsters are hideous."

"Yes, I am!" The monster's mouth trembled again.

"No, you're not." Iolaus smiled again and reached out to catch one of the waving tentacles, pressing it between his palms "You're very lovely. I like blue."

"You do?"

He's flirting with a monster, thought Hercules. Aloud, he said, "We both like blue."

"Like our eyes!" Iolaus batted his and the monster giggled, her cheeks flushing even darker. "See, we both have blue eyes."  


 "So you do." The monster smiled. Her tentacles fluttered and she ducked her head. "And very pretty blue eyes they are."

All three of them exchanged happy smiles. Iolaus let go the tentacle he was holding but not without an affectionate squeeze.

"What's your name?" asked Iolaus, leaning forward, his eyes meeting hers. 

Beside him, Hercules shook his head. The man was unbelievable. He was flirting with a six foot long blue sea thing with tentacles.

"Polydora."

"Well, as I said before, I'm Iolaus and this is Hercules. And we really want to know why you are so sad."

Polydora sighed, her tentacles slipping and twisting around each other again. "It's a long story."

"We like long stories, don't we, Herc? Say, while Polydora tells her story, why don't you build a fire. Wind has a bit of a chill to it. That is, if the fire won't bother you?"

"Oh, no! Not at all. I saw some dry driftwood further up the beach there." One tentacle gestured.

Hercules gave Iolaus a slap on the shoulder as he passed him and went to collect the wood. The wind did have a bit of chill this early in the year. He listened to the conversation as he collected the wood.

"Poseidon is my father. . ." began Polydora.

"Hey! That makes you some sort of cousin to Hercules. Zeus is his father."

"Really?" 

"Yeah. You must not get out much if you don't know about Hercules. He's famous."

Hercules thought about tossing a piece of wood at his partner and knocking him unconscious but decided that would be impolite. Instead, he struck sparks off his gauntlets to light some dry moss and began to build the fire.

"No," Polydora replied. "I've kept to myself ever since this. . ." She gestured with her tentacles, "happened."

Iolaus encouraged her by saying, "Which is?"

"Papa cursed me." Polydora began to cry again. "He was angry because I refused to marry the son of Oceanus that he picked out for me. And when I. . .got involved with. . .someone else, he turned me into this!"

Iolaus nodded, trying to look wise. Hercules suppressed a snicker as Iolaus said, "So, you used to be something else."

"Oh, yes." Polydora sighed. "I used to be a sea nymph and a very pretty one. My hair was rose gold, all wavy, and hung down to my waist. I had lovely sea green eyes and my breasts were. . ."

Hercules interrupted, "We get the idea. You were lovely nymph and Poseidon turned you into what you are now."

"A monster." Polydora's voice rose in a wail as she started to cry again. Iolaus reached out and took a couple of tentacles again, patting them consolingly.

"So, when did this happen?"

Polydora used a couple of tentacles to wipe her eyes and adjust the angle of the top of her head, sniffled and replied to Iolaus' question. "Twenty years ago today. That's why I decided I'd beach myself today."

"Well, good thing you did it today so Herc and I could come along and talk you out of it!"

Polydora sighed, twisting her tentacles again. "I don't know. . ."

"Maybe Hercules could talk to Poseidon, since they are related and . . ."

"Um." Hercules interrupted Iolaus before his partner's flights of fancy took off. "I don't know my uncle all that well and I don't know if I could really ask him about something like this."

Polydora started to cry again. Iolaus gave Hercules a very grim glance as he reached for a handful of tentacles. Then he brightened and said, "Aphrodite! This involves true love, right?"

"Uh?"

"You and this person you were involved with. It was true love, wasn't it?"

It was difficult for a monster to look embarrassed but Polydora managed it, pulling her tentacles away from Iolaus as she sat up primly. "Well, I thought it was at the time but I'm not sure. . .I mean, he never said anything. . ."

"He doesn't count. You thought it was true love." Iolaus sounded very firm. "And Aphrodite is great help when it comes to those sorts of things. And she gets along with Triton and Poseidon and that lot. After all, she arranged for the other me to marry one of Triton's daughters."

"Which one?"

Polydora's question interrupted Iolaus train of thought. He frowned and turned to his partner, who was arranging the driftwood he had collected into neat piles according to size.

"Herc, which one of Triton's daughters married the other Iolaus?"

"Nautica." Hercules said, straightening the ends of each pile. "Iolaus married Nautica."

"Really?" Polydora poked Hercules with a tentacle. "I thought her heart carried the warmth of the seas and she was supposed to marry. . .oh, what was his name?"

"She was and her heart does," Hercules said, finishing his self-appointed task. "But she met Iolaus. . .another Iolaus. . .long story. . .and they got married."

"True love!" said this Iolaus triumphantly. "And Aphrodite arranged for him to be turned into a merman so they could live together under the seas! I bet she could turn you back into a nymph."

While Iolaus thought his suggestion was brilliant, Polydora looked a good deal less certain. She twisted her tentacles again as she stared out to sea. Finally, she said, "I'm not sure Aphrodite would help because she's supposed to be. . ." Her voice trailed off in an inaudible mumble.

"What was that?" asked Hercules, puzzled at this sudden change in the monster's behavior.

Polydora cleared her throat. "Um, well, what with Eos and all. . .I thought Aphrodite was. . ." Another incomprehensible mumble ended the sentence.

Now Iolaus asked, impatiently, "What was that again?"   


Polydora sat up, looking defiant, and said, "Aphrodite is supposed to be jealous of Ares' lovers."

"Oh, that." Iolaus waved his hand negligently. "Now that she and Hephaestus are. . .wait a second! You and Ares? Ares was your true love? Ares, God of War Ares?"

"I said I didn't think he thought it was true love. He just thought I shouldn't have to be forced to marry against my will."

"Back up." Hercules said, losing all interest in his fire and his woodpiles. "You and Ares?"

"I was swimming along near here one day and I glanced over at this beach." She sighed. "I saw someone playing fetch with his dog along the beach." She sighed again. "He was naked and the sun glinting off his. . ."

"I get the picture," Hercules interrupted abruptly. "Skip the details, please."

Polydora's huge eyes narrowed as she studied Hercules for a moment before saying, "Well, we, you know, and then we met a few more times and we talked and I told him about my marriage and he said he would never force a child of his into an unwilling marriage. He was quite adamant about it. Told me all about his daughter marrying some man that Ares didn't even like but he gave his permission because they loved each other. I could see he was very sincere and since he is a god, too, I figured I could go to Papa and tell him what Ares said and. . ."

Hercules made a pained sound as Polydora's words spilled out of her in a rush. "You weren't aware that Ares and your father don't get along very well?"

"Not at the time." She sighed. "I found out afterwards. Papa was furious with me for defying him about the marriage and because I was. . .you know, with Ares. So. . ." The tears started again.

Hercules finished grimly. "Poseidon turned you into a monster and Ares abandoned you."

"Hey!" Iolaus punched Hercules in the arm. "We agreed she is not a monster. She just isn't a nymph any more."

"Fine." Hercules said. "Not a monster. But Ares still dumped her."

"Well, no." Polydora's voice was very soft. "Actually, we were supposed to meet at this cove and I didn't show up. He sent a note, asking if everything was all right and I sent him a note back saying I was fine and not to bother me anymore because I didn't want him to see me. . .like this. I didn't tell him what Papa did, just said that I didn't have to marry against my will and thanked him for his help." Her huge eyes flashed angrily. "I have my pride! I couldn't let him see me with tentacles and everything."

"Knowing Ares," said Iolaus, more to himself than his companions, "It wouldn't be a problem."

"So." Hercules summed up the situation. "Ares was your lover. You were punished for that."

"And defying Papa."

"Right. And defying Poseidon."

"I still think Aphrodite might help." Iolaus tried to smile encouragingly at Polydora, who was slumping against the sand and looking very depressed again.

"No," she said. "Papa was very clear about that. He said if I was so fond of Ares, then I could go to Ares because only Ares could remove the curse. Ares had to ask him on my behalf. But I couldn't go to Ares! I just couldn't let him see me. . ."

Iolaus interrupted. "I'm telling you, Ares probably wouldn't care. He had a thing with this dragon you wouldn't believe and she really did have fangs and. . ."

"Iolaus!"

"Sorry, Herc. Anyway, why don't we just ask Ares?"

Both Hercules and Polydora looked at Iolaus in horror.

"What? Okay, so he has a lousy temper and doesn't like you, Herc, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't help Poly here if he knew about her problem." Iolaus opened his eyes wide and gave his partner his number one pleading, puppy dog look. "Come on, he's been more reasonable lately. I mean, for Ares, ever since, you know. . saving the world and all."

When Hercules' shoulders slumped, Iolaus knew he had prevailed.

"All right," muttered Hercules, crossing his arms and glaring back at Iolaus, who batted his eyes innocently. "But I still think this is a bad idea. Ares!"

"NO!"

It was Polydora who wailed in protest, trying to hide behind Iolaus as she did. "He can't see me like this. I mean, if he has to see me as a monster, at least let me take a quick bath. I've got sand all over me! And. . ."

Her efforts to hide behind Iolaus were mostly futile, since she was a good bit larger than the man she was attempting to use a shield. While she protested and Iolaus tried to calm her, Hercules continued to bellow his brother's name.

As a result, no one immediately noticed when the air sparkled red and gold and Ares stepped out of a fold of nothingness.

"Hey!" said the God of War, punching his younger brother so hard that Hercules staggered and glared. "What in Tartarus do you want?"

"Ares!" Iolaus waved his hands, trying to attract the god's attention. "Over here."

"You?" Ares' already dark expression turned thunderous. "What do you want? Decided life sucks and you want to be dead again? Easy enough to arrange." 

"It's not about me." Iolaus tried to push Polydora's clinging tentacles aside and step away from her. "It's about Polydora."

Polydora wailed as she tried to make herself as small and invisible as possible, which was difficult, considering her size and configuration. Ares, his face puzzled as well as angry, glanced from Hercules to Iolaus to the blue tentacled monster cowering behind his brother's friend.

"Poly who?" Ares started to vanish. "I don't know any Polyd. . ." He resolidified. Leaning forward, he peered over Iolaus' shoulder at the monster. "Polydora? Is that you? What happened."

As Polydora covered her face with her tentacles and started to sob, Iolaus said, "Poseidon cursed her. Because of you. And only you can get him to remove the curse."

Ares shoved Iolaus aside and squatted next to Polydora, who continued crying, her tears forming a small puddle in the sand beside her.

"How come you didn't tell me?" He sounded upset. "You should have told me."

"How could I? Look at me!"

"I'm looking. It's a nice color."

"I have tentacles!"

"So? Tentacles can be good."

Iolaus nudged Hercules significantly, who looked pointedly away.

"I was just so ashamed." Polydora hiccuped. "I'm a monster."

Ares shrugged. "So? You should have told me. I wrote you that note. You did get it, didn't you? And the answer I got, that came from you?"

Polydora nodded, the top of her head flopping back and forth with a sloshing sound. "I got it. But. . ."

Ares stood up, frowning. "I thought you dumped me after you got what you wanted."

"What?"   


"Your note said Poseidon released you from the marriage contract and that you didn't want to see me any more." Ares voice took on a tone neither Hercules nor Iolaus had ever heard from him before. "I thought you used me to get out of the marriage and that's all I meant to you."

"Oh, no!" Polydora reached out, clutching at Ares with several of her tentacles. "You were wonderful! I just didn't want you to see me like this."

"You should have told me," Ares said sulkily.

"Excuse me." Hercules interrupted as politely as possible. He was finding this side of Ares to be disconcerting. "Could you get on with it?"

Ares gave Hercules a wide-eyed look that made Hercules blush.

"I mean, ask Poseidon to take the curse off Polydora."

"Me? I have to ask Poseidon?"

Polydora nodded her head, which sloshed back and forth. "Papa said you had to ask him on my behalf."

Ares frowned. "How come now, after all these years? Why didn't you ask me when it first happened?"

"Let's not review that," said Iolaus. "She was embarrassed. Now she'd like you to ask Poseidon to turn her back."

Ares turned and gave Iolaus a penetrating look, obviously not taken in by the wide-eyed innocence he got in return.

"Fine," muttered the god. "Poseidon, could I have a word with you?"

Ares didn't shout, just raised his voice a little as he addressed the sea. After a moment, a column of water rose up along the shore, solidifying into the shape of man. Iolaus and Hercules had seen Poseidon rarely and when they did see him, he appeared as a massive creature, looming over them from a height of twenty feet or more. Now, he appeared only a little taller than Ares.

"Ares?" The God of the Seas sounded puzzled as his gaze swept the beach, taking in the company gathered there. He nodded at his other nephew, then looked at the creature cowering behind a mortal man. He leaned forward, peering past Ares at the creature.

"Polydora? Is that you?"

One tentacle waved weakly over Iolaus' head. "Yes, Papa."

"Oh." Poseidon was slowly turned from sea water into a more human shape, dressed in a long blue robe, with long green hair, with a coronet of pearls and sea coral above his brow. "Gracious girl, are you still looking like that?"

"Of course she is." Ares sounded annoyed. "You put the curse on her and you said I had to ask to have it removed. So, I'm asking."

Poseidon shrugged. "Fine. No problem."

"Wait." Iolaus was holding a couple of Polydora's tentacles. "You sound as if you forgot that your daughter was under a curse."

"Who are you, mortal? Oh, that friend of Hercules." The Sea God's eyes narrowed. "I've heard about you."

"Then you've heard that I care about people. And sea nymphs and anyone else in trouble. How could you let your own daughter suffer like this for twenty years?"

Hercules made a grab for Iolaus, who dodged easily away. "Iolaus, now it not the time." 

Poseidon waved a hand dismissively. "No, no, he's right. Of course, when you have thousands of children the way I do, you lose track."

Ares, who was standing with his arms crossed, frowning at the tips of his boots, muttered, "The children of the Titans make lousy parents," but he didn't say it loud enough for anyone to hear.

"I am sorry, Polydora," said the God of the Seas, "I just thought you 'd ask Ares right away. "

"I couldn't let him see me like this!" wailed Polydora, all her tentacles writhing.

Poseidon looked at Ares, who shrugged. "Um, yes. Well, dear, you might have been surprised. Anyway." He waved a hand and sparkle of green and blue and the thousand colors of the sea floated over to Polydora, covering her in a pearlescent shell. 

Iolaus had stepped back, not wanting to get caught in any godly magic. Now he stood next to Hercules, bouncing expectantly.

The shell flickered through blue and green to deep purple, then dissolved into a puddle that was quickly absorbed by the sand, revealing a lovely sea nymph, with long, rose gold hair and pale, ivory skin. She was holding her hands over what Iolaus assumed were her sea green eyes.

"Oh, my," murmured Iolaus appreciatively, which got him a sharp nudge from Hercules and narrow eyed glares from Ares and Poseidon. "Polydora, you're beautiful."

"I am?" The sea nymph lowered her hands, waved her fingers at herself, then looked down at her body. "I am! I am!" She capered around for a moment, spinning in circles as she ran her hands over her slim form. The only sign that she wasn't fully human were the pale pink lines of her gills along the sides of her throat and the iridescent turquoise scales along the backs of hands, the tops of her feet, outlining her spine and her collarbones. Other than the gills and those scales, which were so pretty they only served to accent her loveliness, she appeared as a very attractive, naked woman.

While Iolaus and Ares admired her, Poseidon and Hercules found other objects on the beach to study.

"Oh, thank you," she cried, throwing her arms around Iolaus' neck and hugging him. He returned her embrace, keeping an eye on Polydora's father and former boyfriend as he did so and making sure his hands strayed no further than her slender waist.

Before Iolaus found the situation embarrassing, Polydora danced over to give a blushing Hercules a quick hug, then she did the same to her father. He patted her on the back and said, "There, there, Poly dear, I am sorry I forgot about the curse." He pushed her away, smiling. "All forgiven, then?"

"Yes, Papa." She kissed him lightly on the cheek. "I know how busy you must be."

Hercules gave Iolaus a significant glance. Iolaus only shook his head, wisely keeping his opinions of Poseidon's parental care to himself. 

Polydora then turned to Ares, who was still standing with his arms crossed, his expression neither happy nor sad. She gave him a faint smile, laying on her hands gently on his forearms.

"I'm sorry," she said, softly. "I shouldn't have written that note. I know it hurt your feelings but. . ."

"My feelings are a lot tougher than yours, little nymph. You should have told me, though, if only to get back to your natural form. The blue monster look wasn't bad but it wasn't you." 

"Then you forgive me," she replied, leaning close, as if she expected a kiss.

Ares, though, stepped back. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I've got to go. Athena is hollering at me for something." He nodded to Poseidon and vanished.

Poseidon started to melt back into sea water, his voice turning hollow as he said, "Come along, child. Your mother will want to see you."

Polydora started into the sea, then turned back to Iolaus and Hercules. "Thank you, " she said, "For caring. For everything."

Hercules gave a little wave as he said, "You're welcome. Glad to help."

Iolaus shook himself a little and looked Polydora in the eye. "What Herc said."

Then the sea nymph dove into the waves after her father and disappeared from view.

Hercules went to kick sand over his fire while Iolaus stared out to sea for a moment.

"Well, that turned out well," said Hercules as he made sure the fire was extinguished, stirring the coals with a stick as he sloshed handfuls of water over it.

"Yes, it did." Iolaus turned and smiled at his partner. "No slime. No bloodshed. Happy faces all around. My kind of monster encounter."

Satisfied that he left no threat of fire, Hercules brushed his hands against each other and started to the path that led away from the beach. "Where were we. . ."

Following, Iolaus frowned for an instant, then said, "Oh, the play! I'm sorry but two people do not make a chorus."

"Come on, Iolaus. The town was small. They probably didn't have enough volunteers to make a proper chorus. And they did try, nice clear enunciation and all that."

Their voices faded and the only sound was the waves and the sea birds along the beach.

**Author's Note:**

> There was a half written sequel that never went anywhere so this is the first time this has ever been posted. I don't even remember, after all these years, what the sequel was actually about.


End file.
